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In Orthodox Dating Scene, Matchmakers Go Digital

The breakup had been painful, but Rivka was looking to get back on the dating circuit. But a matchmaker, of sorts, beckoned. And its merging of old-school and new-school technologies occupies a potent middle ground in a fast-changing Orthodox dating environment. On the new-school side of the equation stands Alan Avitan, a year-old businessman with a close-cropped beard and a ready smile who lives on the Upper West Side.

On the more traditional side stands Tova Weinberg.

Dating in your thirties is a nightmare, Jewish dating is worse, and a out the matchmaking practices “leached from the traditional Orthodox.

By subscribing I accept the terms of use. Politics Diaspora Opinion. Jerusalem Post Opinion. The coronavirus pandemic has exposed a vast landscape of loneliness across the world. Many singles are either quarantining alone or even with parents or friends but without a romantic partner. In my near nightly Zoom broadcasts with my daughter Chana, who created the Kosher Sex company, modeled on my book of the same name, we encounter singles from around the world who lament the impossibility of dating in this painful time.

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Finding your perfect match

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Learn more about treating Jewish American patients experiencing stress and With a tradition of “shiddach” (matchmaking) to arrange marriages, Hasidic in some traditional branches of Judaism encounter gender-segregated activities or​.

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Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match!

This year marks the 50th anniversary of the Broadway production of “Fiddler on the Roof. Four Broadway revivals and one successful film adaptation later, the story of Tevye and his daughters remains alive in popular culture. Based on the book by Yiddish master storyteller Sholem Aleichem, Tevye attempts to preserve his family and Jewish traditions while outside influences threaten to derail all he knows.

Much of the preservation begins with marriage, and a matchmaker is one of the most important and powerful members of the community. Still today, the matchmaker holds a special role.

Traditionally, making Jewish matches is considered a mitzvah, and only when matches lead to marriage are matchmakers paid. But matchmaking.

Their connection felt genuine and she was eager to cut out the middleman. Her future husband was less certain and suggested they wait. For instance, a shadchen acting as an intermediary at the beginning of a relationship served Lily in her early 20s, but was less effective as she matured. Lily attributes this disconnect to the reality that shidduch dating was originally intended for people in their late teens and early 20s.

He says that, thanks to his work, 58 couples have gotten engaged. He generally sets up young, secular Jews, because he feels that non-Orthodox Jews have limited dating resources. He also writes a monthly advice column in The CJN. Finding your soulmate is reuniting those two lost halves, whose destinies have been entwined from the start. For Anna Sherman, a marriage and family therapist who for 17 years has made matches in her spare time, the motivation to set people up stems from a distinct sense of empathy for the emotional distress shidduch dating can cause.

Are matchmakers for Jews necessary?

Jewish sources devote relatively little attention to defining norms or boundaries for human beauty, though they certainly do not reject beauty as an admirable feature meriting cultivation, provided that it is employed to serve the higher purpose of goodness, effectiveness, and sanctity. The sources also identify negative aspects of beauty, which if misdirected can cause a person to stray from the Bible’s moral teachings.

In light of this dual perspective, we sought to examine the importance of physical appearance in the everyday life of contemporary religious Zionist Jews in Israel. Outward appearance is an important consideration in marital choice, and in traditional Jewish society matchmakers played a significant role in introducing potential partners to one another. We thus sought to investigate matchmakers’ attitudes and practice regarding their clients’ views on issues of beauty, through interviews with matchmakers about the role of beauty in their work.

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A Jewish Matchmaker Whose Hand Led Hundreds Down the Aisle

Inspired by millennia of tradition and guided by the eternal teachings of the Torah , Jewish communities have developed a unique pattern of courtship and dating. The process is goal-oriented, beautiful and respectful. Read more.

Similar to other traditional societies, the Jewish-Israeli soci- ety has been tremendously influenced over the last decades by the. Western cultural beauty imperative.

Matchmaking is an ancient tradition, central to Jewish culture. In Hebrew it is referred to as Shidduch and is considered a mitzvah commandment. Traditionally, any member of the community could and often would try his hand at matchmaking, thus becoming a matchmaker or shadchan. Often, when the amateur matchmakers mothers, family members, friends, etc … failed to succeed , a professional shadchan would be hired. At a time when contacts between young Jewish boys and girls were restricted if not forbidden, this community involvement ensured that every Jewish single of marriageable age would find a mate so the community would survive and eventually grow.

However in Ultra-Orthodox and Orthodox Jewish communities, where contact with the opposite sex is still limited outside the family circle, matchmaking remains a vibrant activity and, as in the past, the entire family and professional matchmakers can be involved in the process. In these closely-knit communities, matchmaking often starts with a personal recommendation. Those considered for marriage are carefully scrutinized.

Many inquiries are made about the potential mate.

The Jewish matchmaker

The production made history: the first musical to surpass 3, performances, it went on to win nine Tony awards, including Best Musical and Best Score. Four Broadway revivals and one successful film adaptation later, the story of Tevye and his daughters remains alive in popular culture. Based on the book by Yiddish master storyteller Sholem Aleichem, Tevye attempts to preserve his family and Jewish traditions while outside influences threaten to derail all he knows.

Much of the preservation begins with marriage, and a matchmaker is one of the most important and powerful members of the community.

When dating Jewish online singles, it is best to have a Jewish matchmaker instead JRetroMatch serves Traditional, Conservative and Reform Jewish Singles.

The world of dating can be rough. There are bars and parties, organized singles groups, websites and apps, swiping right and swiping left. Melamed believes matchmaking is in her blood. Originally from Boro Park in Brooklyn, Melamed says her mother has done matchmaking for decades. After high school, Chani herself, caught the bug and dabbled in matchmaking. She was successful and became a matchmaker with Saw You at Sinai, a dating and matchmaking website with an Orthodox bent, although it serves Jews of all backgrounds.

And yes, Chani and David were set up by a mutual acquaintance. She is also a health coach for Optavia, a weight-loss program. S ince Chani and David Melamed moved to Denver six-and-a-half years ago, she has continued to do matchmaking on a national basis, both through Saw You at Sinai and her own network of contacts. In Denver, she has effectuated one shidduch that resulted in marriage — that of her brother-in-law Yitzy Melamed and his wife, the former Shira Tessler.

Some matchmakers do that and they give us bad names, sadly.

What Is a “Shadchan”?

Saw You at Sinai is a Web site that uses a unique form of matchmaking to help Jewish singles meet potential mates. Rabbi Shmuel Herzfeld of the National Synagogue is joined by Refael Hileman, a matchmaker with the Web site, to discuss the concept and how it supports common cultural traditions of marrying within one’s faith. Just ahead, another of our most fascinating people of the year, C. Vivian Stringer, of the Rutgers women’s basketball coach. Her pastor and friend tells us how adversity has always made her stronger.

But first, what is it about the New Year that sparks the urge to merge?

to the arranged marriages formed by the “shadchan,” the traditional Jewish matchmaker, the quest for the perfect union is a practice that is as.

Davis is quite rare, a matchmaker who does things the artisanal way, setting up singles through dinner parties, not apps or algorithms. She started hosting at least one Shabbat dinner a month in Davis got access to mentors, donors and business classes to put her vision in place. Labe Eden, a committee member at PresenTense who has attended a few Shabbatness dinners, says he was struck by Davis and her idea from the get go.

He explains it as a more wholesome experience than dating at a bar. The idea could seem old school—but each dinner has its own special twist. One night it was Magic and Macarons, where a Jewish magician performed and macarons were served for dessert. And her next one will feature only male homosexual couples. Even with modern traditions, the core of the evening is Judaism. But after traveling Europe and researching the genocide, she felt it a strong pull toward preserving Jewish heritage and rituals.

A PEW study revealed that the percentage of U. And more than half of Jewish Americans have married a non-Jewish spouse. At the dinner I attended, fewer than half the group could read Hebrew. A handful of miracle couples have come out of her dinners—and one marriage is on the way.

Ask the Jewish Matchmaker

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Matchmaking is an ancient tradition, central to Jewish culture. Traditionally, any member of the community could (and often would) try his.

Read Our Privacy Policy. A total of 6. Jewish people have existed in North America since colonial times and experienced a major population increase between and with the influx of Jewish immigrants from Eastern and Central Europe. Another large migration from the Soviet Union arrived starting in the late s. Anti-Semitism—hostile or discriminatory acts or thoughts towards Jews—has also existed in the U.

Although anti-Semitic incidents in the U.

219Mag: Matchmaker, Matchmaker


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